Rhythms

My posts have been less and less frequent on here over the past year. I’ve been through a lot. Not making excuses, just an explanation. When I write for this blog, I like to see myself as a tour guide… and maybe sometimes a life guard. I just want to help people. But you can’t save a person from drowning if you, yourself, are drowning. So, I’ve been quiet. I’ve been focusing on my health–physical, spiritual, mental. I don’t want to ever pretend I have all the answers because if God has taught me anything over the past three years it’s that I literally know nothing. And that He is the only thing I can truly trust or count on.

But. I’ve been implementing some rhythms lately. Some things to get me and keep me on a path to health… and I thought I would share. Not to say that this is some magic formula if you’re feeling stuck. But I’m thinking that maybe if you too are feeling stuck, something that I share here could inspire some changes for you and maybe we could get unstuck together. How’s that sound?

So, here goes. The list of things I’m trying to do on the daily to get myself out of this pit I’ve been living in for far too long:

• I start each day with my Bible Reading. Even on Vacation. Even when I’m busy. (Never mind that I’m 3 days behind…I just keep plugging and one of these days I’ll catch up.)
• I go for a 30 minute walk (almost) daily. Outside preferably. Even if it’s hot.
• I try to get at least 20 minutes of sunshine, as long as it’s sunny. No sunblock, so as to absorb all the vitamin D.
• I take my medicines and vitamins.
• I started therapy. Specifically EMDR. It’s hard. But it’s becoming part of my weekly routine. I dread it, but I look forward to it. I am mainly looking forward to a day when I know God will HEAL this anxiety I’ve been struggling with. Whether He uses my antidepressant or therapy or prayer or a mixture of all three. I’m just looking forward to HEALING.
• I journal. I write about therapy. I write about what I’m learning in therapy. I write prayers. I write about what I’m learning in the Bible.
• I make myself take a lunch break at work and read at least 20 minutes of fiction. I know… “Make myself take a lunch break”… but, I know someone else out there feels me. My lunch is not a set time and I usually eat while I’m working and I fell into a horrible habit for over a year of working through my lunch and never actually taking a break. After my near nervous breakdown last fall, I promised Brian that would stop that. So, I go outside and sit in my car and read. Lisa Jewell is my latest obsession. Her books are *chef’s kiss* amazing.

• No sugar. Now, I’m not saying I haven’t had some sugar at some point, but… here’s what I know to be true. Sugar is a poison for me. My labs get so bad when I let myself have even the tiniest bit of processed sugar. Fruit = fine. White sugar or things with refined sugar in them = bad. My anxiety worsens, my skin looks horrible, I gain weight that refuses to come back off. Sugar is just not my friend. So. It just has to be a “no” for me, Dog (please tell me someone get’s that reference).
• I limit my news intake. That includes socials, news sources, etc. I want my intake of info to be mostly The Bible and the wise council of my family and friends. The World wants to tell us alllll kinds of things. I want the loudest voice in my life to be God’s.
• I see my doctors and I listen to what they tell me. This may seem pretty obvious, but it’s so easy for us to avoid going to the doctor when things come up and to not always heed their advise. But, I tell myself all the time I do not have a medical degree as much as I love to google and research, they know more than I will ever know. And they want me to be as healthy as I can be. So I listen. And I obey. And I pray.

I have nothing figured out here, folks. I’ve gained over 50 pounds over the past year. I’ve had multiple panic attacks, resulting in hysterical crying in MRI tubes, the bottom of my closet, and even at work. Shew. It’s been a rough year.

But, we don’t lose hope. We keep fighting for health. We keep fighting for joy. Hang tight, friends. The light is coming.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” -2 Corinthians 4:16-18