We should be in Indianapolis tonight. We should be doing interviews and having a pre-race banquet. We should be catching up with old teammates and meeting new ones. I should be in half marathon shape, ready to cross another finish line and cheer on my fellow MS runners and supporters as they finish their races on Saturday morning.
Instead, I’m staring at my 2020 Run a Myelin My Shoes team shirt and praying I will feel able to run or walk the 10K I had planned to run virtually tomorrow.
Instead, I’m in my bed. Blasting worship music to combat my sad heart. I’m fighting the stupid nausea I’ve been fighting all afternoon.
Spirits are not great today, peeps. Not going to lie. I’m so thankful my symptoms are still mild compared to others. I’m so thankful my family is well. Please don’t mistake that. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t feel like crap.
And I’m sad that it feels like there is no light at the end of this COVID tunnel we have been in since March. As I’m on planning committees for events happening in spring and even December of next year, we are asking “Can we do ____________?” Can we have events where we feed 750 people in a packed room? Can we run in races with 40,000 people at the starting line? I don’t know. I’m praying for solutions and answers and vaccines and people willing to take vaccines and I’m praying hard against complications and I’m praying for all of those in hospitals right now and all the families saying goodbye to their loved ones on an iPad right now. It’s just too much.
Shew. Someone pointed out anxiety as a symptom of COVID today and I’m obviously suffering from a bit of that today. Other than that, today’s symptoms are:
- Headache (that will never end)
- Fever (100.4 was highest)
- Nausea (no vomiting)
- Heartburn (not typical for me… probably haven’t had heartburn since 2015 when I changed eating)
Please know, our house fights HARD for joy. As I type, my husband is prepping the Christmas tree and has declared we are full on decorating for Christmas tomorrow. I’m blasting worship music and sweet friends are delivering our weekly groceries and dinner for us tonight. We are loved and cared for. That doesn’t mean that this isn’t hard. But we will press on, we will worship God in the valley, and we will set our focus on Him. Do not worry friends… just want to always be real with y’all!