It’s been a year, am I right? For all of us. I think once this is alllllllllll over (LORD, Jesus… please let there be an end to all this!) we won’t soon forget struggles of 2020.
For me, this year began with such fresh hope. 2019 kicked my butt. I remember texting my dear friend the lyrics to Dolly Parton’s “Light of a Clear Blue Morning” on January 1, 2020 and telling her this was going to be our year 🤣🤣. Oh, silly, silly January 1, 2020 Nora… you had no idea what was coming.
Going into 2020, I was carrying some extra weight. 20+ pounds to be exact. I tried all the usuals to drop the extra weight and nothing was working. We ran some bloodwork and extra tests and nothing explained the weight gain and it’s refusal to come off. I’ve resigned to the fact that I’m pre-menopausal and ran 700 miles (literally) in 2018 and about 100 in all of 2019 and running in 2020 has been laughable at best. When I’m weak, the enemy whispers “you’ve failed.” And when I’m particularly weak, I listen to him.
But then, God gently reminds me how far I’ve come.
I’m currently relaxing on a couch at our cozy cabin in the Daniel Boone National Forest after an amazing two days of hiking with my family. Over 1000 feet of elevation. We covered lots of tricky terrain. The pre 2015 Nora would have never enjoyed hiking. She couldn’t have handled the heart pounding climbs and steep steps up and down hills near steep drop offs. She wouldn’t have considered such a thing because one fall would have certainly broken something.
This photo popped up in my Facebook memories today from 9 years ago.
I was dropping off Bethany at camp and a friend snapped this picture. This walk from the dorm to the pool at the camp felt soooo long. I remember being out of breath and breaking a sweat. I remember wishing it wasn’t so hot… you might ask, “then why do you have on a sweater?” Well, friends, I always wore a cardigan or a jacket, even in summer, because I hate my arms. They felt so huge and I felt like I looked thinner with a sweater or jacket. So I cared more about vanity than I did about comfort. This truth makes me sad.
Today, Brian snapped this pic of me and my girl on a hike:
I’m not going to lie… I still struggle with vanity. And normally, I would be ticked at a picture taken of me from behind with my arms exposed (I still am not a fan of my arms), but today I was so thankful when my husband shared it with me. First, it’s me with my girl. My sidekick. My mini-me. A pic of us doing something we love. But it also served as a reminder of just how far I’ve come. I’m healthy. I’m active. And I’m fighting soooo hard for Joy. At the end of the day, those are things to be proud of.
So, if 2020 has you with a few extra pounds and not in the same place you were a few years ago, give yourself some slack. We are all doing the best we can here, folks. Grace. We will get though this. And never forget how far you’ve come.