A tale of two unwanted pregnancies

Once upon a time, there was a 35 year old woman named, Judy. Judy was a mother of three-a 15 year old boy, an 10 year old boy, and a 4 year old girl. Life was good, except it wasn’t. This busy mother of three was miserably sick and doctors struggled to figure out why she couldn’t hold down food and was suffering miserable pain in her abdomen. She lost weight. She could hardly hold down water some days. She saw a few doctors and had a few X-rays over several weeks. She was so ill she didn’t even notice she missed a period. She was pregnant, the last thing she wanted. Doctors determined her gallbladder was not functioning and that was the cause of her pain, nausea, and vomiting. As they gave her the news, she had to inform them that she was pregnant. Her doctor said, “Judy, you already have a complete family. We can take care of this so you can have the surgery you need and get healthy.” Her husband was mad. Somehow, it was her fault and he had no time or patience for Judy to be sick, let alone be preoccupied with a pregnancy for 9 months. The new Roe vs. Wade society would not have blamed her if she had an abortion. But she couldn’t do it.

The year was 1980. Gallbladder surgery required a giant incision and multiple day hospital stay. Her surgeon and her obgyn came up with a plan. They were going to keep her hydrated and do what they could to help her get nutrition so she could make it to her second trimester when the baby would be big enough to be watched on ultrasound while they performed the surgery. But they weren’t making any promises. Judy begged the surgeon to do everything possible to keep the baby safe, even if it meant not being able to complete the surgery. Surgery happened without issue, her stomach issues greatly improved, she gained weight, had a beautifully healthy pregnancy, and on October 31, 1980, she gave birth to a baby girl. She named her Nora, after her grandmother–the strongest woman she knew.

In October of 1996, a 15 year old girl made a poor decision. She decided to have sex with her long-time boyfriend. She became pregnant. A friend offered to have her mom drive her to the city to have an abortion if she could come up with the $400. She hid her pregnancy for as long as she could and prayed for it all to just go away. When her family finally discovered the truth and she could see they still loved her and were ready to love and support her no matter what, she was able to wrap her mind around the reality that she was carrying a life. She made the decision to have the baby and be his mother. On June 8, 1997, she gave birth to a little boy named, Daniel.

The reality: If Judy had chosen her health over her baby, I wouldn’t have been born.

And if I had chosen abortion, this young man would not have born.

I recently saw this bumper sticker posted on social media. It was so horrifying, I couldn’t even comprehend what it meant when I first looked at it.

I don’t know where you stand on abortion. And I’m not here to debate. I just wanted to share my story. According to the current climate, I should not have been born. And if you listen to people throwing out statistics about teenage moms and the type of kids they raise, my son should not have been born. I hope that I’m proving to be worth all of the pain and suffering my mom went through to have me. I can definitely tell you my son was worth all of the embarrassment and hardship I had to endure in order to raise him.

If you are pro-woman (like me!), I encourage you to look into the level of care abortion clinics give women essentially going into (forced) premature labor. And if you are pro-woman, I encourage you to look into your local crisis pregnancy center. Maybe we should start looking for ways to support women who choose to keep their pregnancies and fight for them to have what they need to succeed. Then they can make the best decisions for their lives.